Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
