Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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