How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
