you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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