i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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