So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
