All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
