Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
