she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
