get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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