mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize