winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
