Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
