thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
