He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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