I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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