I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
