Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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