Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
