and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
