all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
