I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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