I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
