If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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