It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
