Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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