just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
