I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
