yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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