Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
