It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
