So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
