very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
