Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
