Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
