thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
