its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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