It's like God shit irony all over that family
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
