So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
