I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
