i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
