Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
