Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
