Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
