You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
