I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
