I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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