I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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