Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
