is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
