Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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