You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
