he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Dick very happy bro
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize