dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
