Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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