I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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