I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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