you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Randomize
