i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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