and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
