New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
