just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
