i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
