I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize