I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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