one might say we're banned from that church
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
