brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
