if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
