I have demons in me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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